What? Who, ME??????

I'm beginning to turn into THAT woman......yes, some of you know who I'm talking about. That woman who is a stay at home mama and LOVES her job, but is beginning to think that there is more to life than diaper duty, projectile vomiting, and cleaning up after everyone else. I am beginning to be the woman who wishes she could go out into the work force just so she can be around adults and have adult conversation that doesn't involve singing Wiggles songs around the clock. I'm becoming the woman that feels SO underappreciated, frumpy, underchallenged, depressed, grumpy, and unfulfilled. I'm the woman that is extraordinarily blessed, but yet doesn't understand why she feels so unhappy. I'm waking up on the wrong side of the bed so much that I wonder if there is still a "right" side of the bed. How does one snap out of this? What does a woman do when she wants a day off? Or two? Or ten!!!!! How can you explain to your un-understanding hubby that you need more.....more sleep, more hugs, more compliments, more help, more appreciation.....just more. Is it possible to actually get hubs to pick his flipping socks up off the floor??? Or his shirts? Pants? Undies? How do you make him understand that when he gives "mail" to the 2 and 4 yr olds that when they tear it up into tiny little pieces and you have bent over 1000 times to pick them up that he needs to FLIPPING STOP GIVING THEM PAPER!!!!!! I am becoming THAT woman......
I SO did not want to be that woman, either! I realize that real life isn't a fairy tale, don't get me wrong, I'm not TOTALLY deluded, I know that no one has the PERFECT life.....but is it wrong to expect common courtesy from thos you live with in your own home? How do you get kids to clean up after themselves without screaming yourself stupid at them? What do you do when time-outs, gentle spanks, time in the corner, removal of privileges, and being sent to your room doesn't work? I don't want to withdraw completely from my life but I sure feel like it. Nothing is appealing to me lately.....I just want to cry all the time. I know, I know.....depression.....
Don't get me wrong....I'm not that upset that I'm gonna drive my car off a cliff or anything, but dang.....I'm just a frustrated mama from Mississippi, living in Australia and needing a break!!!!! A break from hubby, a break from the kids....some time for me where I can curl up with a book, or my computer to work on my book, or sit on a deserted island with a gallon of double shot margaritas!!!!!! I want to be able to pull out my paints and canvas without also having to pull out the finger paints and THEN have to clean the mess up afterwards......I want to sit down to write and be able to actually concentrate, not have to keep interrupting my thoughts to wipe a snotty nose, get water or milk for someone, find something that's right in front of hubby's face......I want to be able to hop on my bike and go for what I now call a "mental health ride" and not have to helmet and strap 2 kids into the carriage behind the bike.....I want to finish some of the beautiful sewing projects I have started so I can wear some of these amazing clothes that are half finished and not have to wear clothes with holes in them.....I want to be able to go to the bathroom and have an uninterrupted shower or bubble bath.....I want to go out to the beach and take photos without having to leave my camera in the car because I have to watch 2 girls so they don't drown in the ocean.....
Am I being selfish here? Is ANYONE saying AMEN to ANY of this???? Because I'm here to tell you.....I'm A DONKEY ON THE EDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gee, I feel better now that I have vented a bit......now I will go and kiss my three kids while they sleep, give hubby an extra snuggle tonight and go back and read this and go....WHAT? Who, ME?