Criticism SUCKS

Geez.....how can people walk around criticizing others so much?! I have been a victim of harsh criticism ALL my life and I have to say, I AM BLOODY WELL SICK OF IT!!!!!! I grew up in a very critical family......2 beautiful sisters who I looked up to who thought I should be just like them......therefore, they criticized when I wasn't.....not enough make-up, too much make-up, not fashionable enough clothes, gee, you look fat in that, don't do it THIS way, do it MY way, you can't do that, you're not talented enough, don't major in that, you aren't smart enough, you don't have what it takes to do whatever it is you want to do......and that was just my family growing up. I am glad I woke up to the fact that being me isn't all that bad, but sadly, it was too late to not have a complex....a BIG one. I have suffered from extraordinarily low self esteem my whole life.....and I THINK (keep in mind, I'm no psychologist ), that it has contributed to the fact that in most cases I am afraid to finish things. I am SO stinkin' scared that someone, somewhere is going to tell me it is substandard, or crappy, or looks bad, or whatever negative things they could possibly say. I am TIRED of being crushed all the time....tired of people thinking I can't do things before I even start them. I tell myself day in and day out that I CAN if I want to but dammit, I think don't do it, finish it, then you won't have anyone to tell you you did a bad job. Have I got issues or what?????? LOL Funnily enough, on stage is where I feel most comfortable.....maybe because I am stepping outside myself and being someone else....I've never been afraid of public speaking auditioning, singing in front of others, dancing in front of others, whatever....but once I am off the stage I freak out......I don't like criticism.....why? Because most people don't know how to do it right. You CAN criticize without crushing someone's spirit......without totally bursting their bubble.....it has happened to me before, so I KNOW it can be done. It can be done in a way that you don't even know you're being criticized....because there is love behind it, there is respect behind it, the person has your best interest at heart, etc. As I am going on this quest to find me, I am going to make it my goal not to criticize anymore.....unless there is love and kindness and that person's best interest at heart. I don't want to EVER make someone feel like they are nothing.....I don't know if I will ever feel like I am someone, but I can make sure my friends and kids and hubby don't feel like they are nothing to me. I want to be the friend/mama/wife that will affirm, not crush. Not that I have ever been a big criticizer, but I am making it a point to not do that.....EVER. I have always tried to encourage people in their endeavors without gushing over them. I don't know if you have read the Love Languages book, but guess, what???? I am a words of affirmation person......gifts are nice, physical touch is great, acts of service are cool, quality time is good too, but I need to know you love me, are proud of me, that I did a good job, etc. Take the bloody time, people, to find out what really makes the people you love feel the best and DO IT! And to all the criticizers out there.......STUFF OFF, and keep your harshness away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!